TCB

Another liberty that I'm feeling the urge to embrace in my time of unemployment, is having a lack of co-workers or customers I could offend by speaking my mind or expressing my feelings. I'll toss some examples your way and see if you can relate. I'll have you know that any attempt at giving me advice will have little influence on the actions I may potentially take for a couple of reasons. For one thing, I am pretty good at being diplomatic on my own terms and, secondly, rarely does one have the opportunity to capitalize on such moments unless the previously mentioned obligations (jobs, customers, etc.) are not in place. I need to take advantage of this window while it's open!
While employed at my last job, a customer would come in with her tiny psychotic dog. The pint-sized beast would snarl and snap and have a conniption fit if you even made eye contact with it; all while it tried to squirm its way out of its protective owner's arms. Not only was this ridiculous to observe, but it truly wasn't good for my nerves either. The icing on the cake was the fact that the owner of the dog never seemed to be embarrassed by, nor did they ever apologize for, the dog's behavior. I vowed to one day tell them what I truly thought of them; The owner rude and selfish, and the dog a spoiled little demon. The big day, of course, would have to be a day when I was choosing to leave the job for good so as to not stir up any trouble that would backlash onto me. Unfortunately, my final day at the job found the hellhound and its witch of an owner nowhere in sight, so my fantasy was never fulfilled. There's still hope, you see. I've decided to re-highlight their names on my shit list and if we happen to cross paths, appropriate curses will be placed upon their heads. These days, I feel like I can execute these maneuvers a little more playfully instead of with the high blood pressure anxiety that was typical in the past.
Another example of imminent moments of release comes in a much less palatable form: Violence! Recently a friend and ex-coworker of mine has been the victim of violence by their insecure boyfriend. These situations have surfaced in the past between the two of them, but it has recently escalated to pushing and hitting followed by racial slurs directed to another friend of mine. All of these bad decisions made by one individual. One individual who may need to be "pushed" back. My posse of friends are ready to confront this guy to put an end to the torment he puts his girlfriend through. He's 6'5" and built like a beach umbrella made of balsa wood (pretty inefficient), but he still insists on publicly abusing his girlfriend who is only 5'2". The jury is in and this guy will not have a choice but to change his ways.
I'm going to make sure every thing's done with precision and said rationally and with clarity. Don't worry, friends, I'll be in your corner some day and we'll fight together! Onward!