C.O.P. is #1!

A year ago today I found myself at the brink of a mini nervous breakdown. I had quit my job and I wasn't sure in what direction I was heading. My mind was flying apart and I needed to focus my thoughts and my energies and at the same time I wanted to find peace within myself. I soon realized the potential for a goofy blog to aid me in reasoning with my situation. I wasn't searching for answers or results so much as I was looking to relieve myself of the pressures I was facing. I took a deep breath, I smiled, and I prepared to start from a new humble beginning. Throughout the next few months I absorbed into a simpler lifestyle, I accepted help from family and friends without allowing myself much guilt, and made sure to spend time in the sun and listen exclusively to calming ambient music. This surely sounds corny and new-age-y, but it honestly helped, and I recommend this practice to anyone who finds themselves in a similar predicament.
I have since fully "recovered" from joblessness and many other pieces have fallen into place elsewhere in my life; I gained full custody of a beautiful cat, I met a wonderful girl, I shifted my artistic style a bit and I apparently took the time to write every-now-and-then! All of this wouldn't have been possible without the support from those who embraced Code of Posture and gave me continual encouragement and inspiration. My blogging community (ugh, that sounds ridiculous) consists of faithful readers, some of whom have blogs of their own. My friend Mackenzie has a couple of blogs. My favorite blog of Mackenzie's can be found if you click right here. She is, to speak in her language, rad. My girlfriend Allie has a couple blogs too! A seemingly endless visual treat from Allie's blog universe can be found if you click right here. (I hope you gals don't mind the free publicity!) My biggest fan is most likely Mom. Mom, you have been my inspiration to keep my writing clean and refined which has served well as a huge part of the template for each Code of Posture posting. My friends John and Joe (recurring characters in a few C.O.P. topics) have roused many ideas that were worth writing about. Thanks.

I hope you all continue reading because I expect that life is only going to get more interesting in this next year and I'll be sure to give you some perspective along the way.

Beautiful Day

The sky is a little hazy today in response to a thick heat consuming the Philadelphia region as of late. The sun is there for sure, and a beautiful day is breathing it's deep and slow breezy breaths onto those of us who have the patience and time to recognize that, yes, it is indeed a beautiful day. I'm fortunate to have today and tomorrow free of work so I can absorb every sticky second of my Wednesday afternoon even though my sweat glands are squeezing it all right back out onto the plastic chair I'm sitting in on my back porch. Wish you were here.

SLEEPLESS NIGHTS

The movie Communion, as far as I can bring to mind, is the only movie creepy enough to keep me from being able to fall asleep at night. I saw the film once when I was twelve or so and again sometime in my early twenties. Even in my young adult life I feared I would see the alien from this clip peeking from behind my dresser or from inside my closet door or around the corner in the hallway when I went to the bathroom in the middle of the night. Terrifying.

LAUREL AND HARDY

The best comedy to ever exist! Oliver Hardy's priceless takes to the camera and Stan Laurel's vacant reactions to the world around him: incredible. Enjoy!

HAND MADE MAN

What have I been doing with my life? To be quite honest, I have been enjoying it. Often I overanalyze and criticize life and the people around me, but I do have very basic problems and I'm grateful that I am able to apply some introspection to most of them to keep my cool. I'm lazy, I'm typically broke, and I haven't necessarily found myself where I pictured myself to be when I was younger, but that's through no fault but my own; I have never felt like I've just been dealt a bad hand- I just haven't played my cards right. I'm patiently learning the game though, and it helps to realize that I'm playing the game with others who are learning as well. We win a few rounds and maybe lose the next one, but it's always a fine idea to smile and have fun and learn some tricks along the way.

Sometimes I have intense moments of clarity and I realize what I'm destined to do. Today I said to myself- and probably for the millionth time, " I should just focus on doing album artwork. I love looking at album artwork and packaging techniques and when I'm shopping for those products I get inspired to come home and draw... Then I would make money that I could spend on shopping for records..." and so on. That sounds to me like a pretty safe full house to bet on. Then, before I know it my day off is over and I get sucked back into my weekly nine-to-five and I make almost no time for pursuing such a dream. Sad... but again, that's just me being lazy. I've never really broke my back for my passion, yet interestingly enough I get regular lower back pain (and I'm only 31! yikes!) most likely from my retail job with lousy pay... go figure.

So what have I been doing with my life? I've been enjoying it, yes. I have also been watching it closely from the outside and maneuvering it from the inside, but a piece is still missing. I haven't made that move that scares most of us from completely controlling our lives. I am yet to say, "all in"

A LOVE SONG

Listen to this Richard Hawley track. On his own he has written some really wonderful love songs, and he used to be a member of the band Pulp. They have some really wonderful songs as well, but this featured song is from Richard's solo album Truelove's Gutter.

WORK IN PROGRESS

All of us have an agenda. Quite simply, we can't sit still or nothing will get done. Even a nihilist will try to make a point at one time or another. As a member of the human race I've noticed that we believe in and have invested in progress and we become pleased with the results we see from that progress- be those results good or bad, they are results nonetheless. Sure, a meditating Buddhist monk or a homeless person sitting in one place expecting some charity does not embrace progress the same way most of the world's active economies do, and those at rest are prone to make the rest of us a little confused and uncomfortable; however, they are woven into the same social fabric simply by being human.
We want to achieve power, respect, and some bragging rights by being active. On a more romantic level we hope to find the meaning of life through science, philosophy or religion. Maybe we can look further into space than we did before. Maybe we can even go to those places that once seemed so far away. It certainly gives us hope, and hope certainly fuels progress, and progress fuels an economy that allows us to create or sustain a community on some level no matter how frail that community may be. But we do go forward and we would maybe look back more often if time wasn't coaxing us into the future along with it. It's 11:27pm as I'm typing these words and I expect to be finished by midnight or I won't get enough sleep for tomorrow! See what I mean? It's hard to look back when there's so much to try to prepare for (which is a feeble attempt more than half the time.)
It's interesting to think that we are capable of so much and that we rarely fail to impress each other with great feats previously forgone by our precursors generations ago. We are always proving that we can and we usually don't give up until we do (resources and technology permitting, of course) but what does that really mean? Does that mean that we are a superior being on this planet? Does that mean we are winning? I honestly have a hard time understanding this sometimes. I think we are still driven mainly by very primal instincts and behaviors but the ego has managed to cloak those instincts beneath all the flashy stuff we've made to trick us into thinking that, yes, we are winning... something. For example: If in the future we finally win a ticket to the edge of the universe and we could stand there and turn around and see everything and grasp even just 70% of all knowledge and perspective available to us; would anyone be impressed, and why? At that point everything would be sorted out and we could have our power respect and bragging rights, but what is the worth of those things there at the edge of the universe?

Maybe if we take this moment to consider that we don't have our priorities straight we'll see ourselves from a skewed perspective and realize that we're not too different from a single celled amoeba. This isn't to say that life is pointless, but instead we may have billions of years of evolution ahead of us. Make sure to keep those days open on your calender.