HOW TO BE A JERK AND HATE ART TO THE POINT THAT YOU HATE YOURSELF FOR FEELING LIKE AN ART SNOB

I'm not sure how to approach this topic correctly, but I have to try. Walking home from work the other day I passed a storefront on South Street that has been a temporary art gallery/space-thing for the past six months. There are a few of these storefronts currently being rented out month-to-month along South Street and each one is disappointing. This particular art space, on that particular night, appeared to be hosting a gallery opening or closing or whatever, and was packed with art fans pretending to "know art" as they sipped on the fuel of "art knowing"; wine. The crowd consisted of 60-somethings with multi-colored berets, fat hippies (and skinny ones too!...?), and the young eclectic with his guitar slung on his back who at any moment could provide the venue with some tunes if he were to get enough of that free "fuel". The art was literally junk sculpture. Now, for whatever reason, the artistic community that I dislike the most is exactly that; a community. This, no doubt, was one of those venues where the same group of artists show their stuff each month, and the same neighborhood art-likers (mostly friends, and people who have a growing collection of one specific artists work because '..it really speaks to me..') come to support them. Great. Good for them, I guess. Now, I don't know what other form of art exposure I would prefer, but I know that my mind was made up for me in the 5  seconds it took for me to pass by the window of this place where art went to die. My mind immediately reverberated, "EW! NO! EWWW!" and I thought myself better than those people as I directly thought my art to be better than their art. My art that I keep locked up inside my house. My art consisting of a total of maybe 15 respectable finished pieces, created over the course of too many years. Of course I'm not better than those people, but I'm also not playing any charades. I simply do not make art to be sold or praised or even seen for that matter. This isn't a metaphor for anything, it is the truth. My output is low, my creative frustration is high, and my integrity remains strong. I make art because I am compelled to do it. There are projects that are started and completed and they exist entirely in my head. Sometimes this occurs if I don't have the time or resources to physically bring the idea into being, but mostly my brain is a more proper venue for some pieces that couldn't or shouldn't be appreciated by the public no matter how intimate my relationship might be with them.
...to be continued...

NUTS ABOUT COCTEAU TWINS

The Cocteau Twins have recently completely enveloped my music listening realm! I've downloaded all eight full length albums and purchased as many original copies of their vinyl EPs as possible, and I don't think I've  stopped listening to this fantastic Scottish band for the past three weeks straight.
Although their debut album was released in 1982, and I haven't experienced them until 2011, I feel they have found me at a wonderful point of my life when I can truly appreciate their sound; not to mention Elizabeth Fraser's acrobatic vocal melodies.

INK TANK

Lately I've tried my hand at the art of stick-and-poke tattoo. A stick-and-poke tattoo involves all of the same basic components of a professional tattoo sans the machine. For my stick-and-poke tattoos I've used sterile single use tattoo machine needles and sterile tattoo ink. Below are images of the last three stick and pokes I've done on myself including: the face of the alien race from the 1973 animated French film La Planete Sauvage (or; The Fantastic Planet), below the face are the serif initials of the Satellite Of Hate (the name given to my house in reference to the Satellite Of Love from Mystery Science Theater 3000.) Those tattoos are on my left inner calf. On the front of my right arm's bicep, just above my elbow, I tattooed a sine wave. My friend Allie is tattooed with the same design as it represents our shared frequency, friendship. If you know anyone who would like me to stick-and-poke some art into their skin, let me know. I'm only improving as I go!

HAPPY THANKSGIVING

Let's see how this altered recipe turns out.

Right now I'm boiling six whole pears in four cups of water with one and a half cups of red wine, a quarter lemon, a half cup of maple syrup, and an additional quarter cup of suger with a healthy sprinkling of cinnamon and a dash of vanilla extract. Yowza. Then I'll remove the pears, turn half of the remaining poaching liquid into a caramel by adding some cream and MORE SUGAR! The pears will then be cut in half and coated in the 'caramel' concoction. I'll scoop out the center of the pears and fill them up with shaved sharp cheddar topped with pistachios. Then the whole thing gets baked. Shoot... this better work.

Also, I think it's stupid that the liquor stores aren't open on this holiday. 

MULTIPLE PERSONALITIES PT.5

I'm so scatterbrained when it comes to understanding who I am and what I like, and as always I feel this is no better represented than through my musical tastes. In one moment of the day I'm listening to this:
And four minutes later I'm listening to this:
but then:

WANTED: CAMERA

One tool that would prove very useful to me would be a camera. Possessing one would inspire many more off-the-cuff C.O.P. posts. Forever I've been using, almost exclusively, pictures found through Google image search, and a tiny percentage of old stuff I've recovered from my external hard drive (see photo from previous post.) If you happen to have an old digital camera that will get this job done and are willing to give said camera to me, I would then be obligated to cook you dinner or perhaps draw you a picture or rap for you.

FILL IN THE BLANK

Again, it has been some time since my last post. Rather, there has been a regular large gap between each post for the last half of the year. As of late a full time job has stifled my focus on writing, but I have devised a plan to rectify this situation so that all two of you who read C.O.P. can be fulfilled by my profound observations on life. If I simply write something quickly without much preparation and just post away, and maybe even do that a few times in a row within the same 10 minutes, I will constantly keep us all entertained, confused, informed, active, scared, happy, sad, and whatever else a shitty slip-shod post will encourage us to be at that moment.
Although, like most things in my life, my follow through is not 100%, but also like most things in my life, if I go through with the plan, the results will be... wildly unpredictable?
I apologize in advance...
the author in 3D circa 2009